Neon Genesis 3vang3li0n?
by XENO Prototype
Summary: A brief insight on what could have happened if NGE became infected with TEH L33TNESS!1! XD Still an idea in the works, I might actually make a more "Serious" one.


Wtf? Honestly, I think I think this could be made better... I'll probably remove it for uber-tweaking.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva, got it?

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Neon Genesis... 3vang3li0n?

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Shinji: T3h pr0n sed 2 cum heer...

Kaworu: Hay ther hott wana cybr? y/n

Shinji: 0.o Wtf r u a haxxorz?

Kaworu: Noep. i just wan 2 rap u.

Shinji: Uhh.. Nvm..

Kawaoru: Wana hav ranchy but sx?

Shinji: Omfg no wai ur grammer sux 2.

Kaworu: Jk, im strait. lol, l3ts goto Nurv.

Shinji: K, brb 1st.

Kaworu: W8!! I g0tta giv u a criptic mssg dude.

Shinji: Tite, giv it 2 m3 baby!

Kaworu: Rik Jams lol.

Shinji: Ya! xD

Kaworu: K h33r i g0; _Beware the ides of march…_

Shinji: Dood, i isnt evn mrch.

Kaworu: O yah, i furg0t.

Shinji: Hay th1s sxe pr0n grl sed to m33t her heer irl. U wana g3t sum 2?

Kaworu: 0mg c00l! scroo Adm n Lilth sh3s got HUG bewbs!

Shinji: Ya sh3's fckin h0t!1!!11 :D

Kaworu: H0ly sht u rox, l3ts m33t her.

Shinji: Ya w3 can dubl teem 0n hur.

Kaworu: Hay ad me 2 ur fr3nd list.

Shinji: K, dun, u?

Kaworu: Yah.

Shinji: 0mg luk 7ha7 n00b

Kaworu: Evn a t0tl amatur nos h0w 2 du that glich 2 his stats.

Shinji: Lol im totly guna pwn hm nxt time I c him.

Kaworu: Luk outz!1!!11!!1!111!!1

Shinji: Woh! Sh3 triyd tu runn m3 ov3r.

Misato: Which one of you is Shinji Ikari?

Kaworu: Dood i7s her, sh3 tlkin 2 u.

Shinji: I/\/\ 5hinji r u t3h pr0n chik frum tuh lettr?

Misato: What? I can barely understand you. I'm Misato Katsuragi, I'm here to take you to NERV headquarters to see your father.

Shinji: Omfg. I g0t trikd its totly just /\/\y dad trying 2 g3t m3 tu pi/\/\p out hs WoW accnt.

Kaworu: Sh3z stil fckn h0t.

Shinji: Tru.

Misato: Err… Ok then? Get in the car.

Kaworu: Hay bab sh0 u5 ur 7i7s

Misato: I am sorry, but I have NO idea what you two are saying.

Shinji: Sh3 probly jist wnts muhnyz cuz dad liks 2 b a bich and pis m3 off.

Kaworu: Cood b.

Misato: They're going to drop a..? Get down!

Shinji: Yay 4 bewbs :)

Kaworu: Da/\/\ th3r bg!!1! S33ms lik ur rite.

Misato: My car… Oh my poor car… Help me out with this.

Shinji: H3re u g0

Misato: Shinji… I don't need money to push my car back on all fours.

Kaworu: I'll g3t u 0n al 4s bab! ;D

Shinji: Lol, yah. K l3ts go 7o ur plac Mi5t0

Misato: We have to hurry, that thing is wrecking everything.

Kaworu: Mi 7hing wil reck ur bodee triing 2 puut it insid bab! ;D

Shinji: 0mg t3h fckn n00b i5 g3tn in the wai!

Kaworu: Dood, ju5t uze ur haxx 0n him.

Shinji: N0 wai, teh m0ds wil cach m3.

Kaworu: Gud p0in7.

* * *

Misato: We'd be there if only these stupid directions weren't so confusing. Ugh..!

Kaworu: I cant heer u, I 2 bizy sterin at ur b00bs )

Shinji: /dr00lz

Ritsuko: Misato, what are you doing here? You're late!

Misato: Well, we ran into some trouble and…

Kaworu: Woh sh3z haf nakd, h0t!

Shinji: Dood sh3z totly a fak bl0nd w/ a gay 1 p33c

Kaworu: O yah, thet iz a trn 0ff... Kinda...

Ritsuko: U jrkoff n00bs!11 st0p luukng at /\/\y b3wbz!11!

Shinji: Lol sh3z g0t l337 skilz tu.

Kaworu: Tite dewd.

Misato: Wait, you actually understand them?

Ritsuko: Yes. It is primarily because they are well versed with computers, similar to myself.

Misato: Sooo… You're saying that you understand them because you're a geek too?

Ritsuko: Damnit Misato, that's not what I said!!

Misato: Haha! Relax Rits, I'm joking. You don't have to get so stirred up.

Ritsuko: Easy for you to say, now that I have to put up with these t- wait a sec. Why are there two of them?

Misato: Well, I couldn't just leave the other one there, and the shelters were too far away so…

Shinji: Bcuz w3 want 2 hav fun w/ teh h0t pr0n ch1k!1!!1! :D

Kaworu: Ya!1!!1 :D

Ristuko: Oh hell no… Misato, did you put anything explicit in the letter?

Misato: What? No!

Ritsuko: Misato…

Misato: Well… Maybe it was a small little tiny bit… Suggestive...

Shinji: I7 had a h0t pic in5id!

Kaworu: A rly h0t p1c.

Ritsuko: Damnit.

* * *

Kaworu: Yah. Scru u giyz, i/\/\ goin h0me.

SEELE 06: This insubordination will not be tolerated.

SEELE 09: You shall do as we say.

SEELE 01: Or else you shall be pwned massively.

Kaworu: U arnt t3h bo55 of m3!

SEELE 01: I am t3h bo55 of you.

Kaworu: Fck u.

SEELE 69: Roflmfao u giyz r t0tl fagz!

SEELE 01: You are out of line SEELE 69.

Kaworu: Lolz!

SEELE 69: Hay KaW0ru.

Kaworu: Ya

SEELE 69: Th3r iz a ulta/\/\et pr0n bunker in t3rminul d0gma.

Kaworu: O RLY?

SEELE 69: YA RLY!

Kaworu: NO WAI!

SEELE 69: YA WAI!

SEELE 03: What on earth is he..?

SEELE 08: Patience.

SEELE 07: I think I get it.

Kaworu: Jest h0w ultam3t iz it?

SEELE 69: It iz 0f tuh G0DZ!

Kaworu: I m et ur co/\/\and my l0rd...

SEELE 69: G00d, th3n u are to maintain positon until further notice.

Kaworu: It shel b dun.

SEELE 69: And that is how to deal with his insubordination.

SEELE 01: Excellent ploy to recover control of the scenario, he shall play his role until he is of no use. However you would do well not to undermine our authority like that again, even as an act.

SEELE 69: Actually, I was serious about you guys being total fags.

* * *

Gendo: Damnit. Stop camping you noobs.

SEELE 01: Only if you follow the scenario we set down.

SEELE 69: Rofl!!11! Hoo is t3h r33l noob heer Ikari? U g0t a fkn lvl 13 nite elfz shamn!!1! We \/\/ud pwn u enywayz with my rapi5t dru1d.

Gendo: Just you wait until the third child pimps out my account. I will crush you all for this.

Ritsuko: I apologize for interrupting, however it seems that the third child has just requested for the real Slim Shady to please stand up.

Gendo: I see, any further developments?

Ritsuko: Sir… Someone stole the cookies from the cookie jar...

Gendo: …What did you just say?

* * *

SEELE 01: It has come to my attention that someone has stolen the cookies from the cookie jar.

SEELE 02: Impossible!

SEELE 05: What?!

Kaji: Someone stole the cookies from the cookie jar?!

SEELE 07: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

SEELE 01: Kaji stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

Kaji: Who me?

SEELE 08: Yes you.

Kaji: Couldn't be!

SEELE 02: Then who?

Kaji: SEELE 69 stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

SEELE 69: \/\/h0 me?

Kaji: Yes you.

SEELE 69: C00dnt b!

Kaji: Then who?

SEELE 69: S33LE 04 St0le th3 cookeez fr-

SEELE 01: Enough, this joke is getting old. We must get down to the bottom of this immediately.

SEELE 69: Iz totly g0tta b SeeL 04 doodz...

* * *

Shinji: S0 my m0/\/\ had s3x w/ an ang3l?

Rei: Incorrect, however am a genetic combination of them-

Shinji: Omg inc3st!!1! my bra1n iz s0 freid.

Rei: Incest? I do not understand.

Shinji: Nvm. Ur stil h0t, wana ha\/ wild pashunet s3x?

Rei: I… I… Am unsure how to respon-

Shinji: Tehn say y3s.

Rei: Very… Well?

Shinji: Sw33t!1!! :D

* * *

Rei: Unh! Uh! Ah…..! Harder! AH! Unh!

Shinji: Hhn! Yeah baby! Hhn!

Rei: You- Oooh..! –Can speak norm-AHH!-ly…?

Shinji: Hhn! Unh! I- Ungh! -guess I- Hhn! -can! Ugh! Uh!

Rei: I- Ah..! Ooh! -much pre-Unh!-fer it this wwaAAAY!! UNH! AH! Ooh! Ah!

* * *

Gendo: You have skipped over the hours of 10 PM to 2 AM in your report. What were you doing in this time frame Rei?

Rei: I was having sexual relations with your son commander.

Gendo: …What did you just say?

* * *

Kaworu: Omg tehy leid 2 me… Ther nevr wus a ultamet pr0n bunkr of t3h godz… My lifez… My dr33mz… R wurthles…

Shinji: I sry 4 u Kaw0ru

Kaworu: Hay, Dewd... U g0tta kil m3 2 edn my pein.

Shinji: Wtf no! U goed em0?

Kaworu: Ya, so plz?

Shinji: No wai, u my bst frend Kaw0ru...

Kaworu: I stol t3h cookees frum tuh cooky jar.

Shinji: OMFG U BSTRD!!1!!111 I KIL U!!1!11!1!!11!!1!1!!111

Kaworu: 0wch! O btw i leid, Kajee totly stol teh cookiez frm tuh cuuky jar.

Shinji: N0o0o0o0000oooo!!1!11!! KAw0ru!!111!1!!

Misato: Angel… Eliminated…

* * *

Kaworu: S0, ur seying thet t3h pr0n iznt al0wed h33r?!1!11

Real Angel: Yep, pretty much. It is sinful to-

Kaworu: I wana g0 bak!

Real Angel: You cannot do that. I'm sorry, but-

Kaworu: I N33DZ T3H PR0NZ!!11!!1

Real Angel: Holy-!

* * *

Misato: That was an adult kiss… We can finish the rest when y-

Shinji: H3ll no!!1! L3ts d0 it n0w!1!!

Misato: Wait, what the-?! Ah!! Shinji!!

* * *

Uhhh... R&R? sweatdrop


End file.
